We hoped. We prayed. The Guardian even campaigned, although they managed to turn more voters against themselves than Bush. Yet the kids of America still did not care enough to vote, and it seems God is on the side of the Republicans. So, in the same spirit of reconciliation and reunion shown by everyone's favourite Texan, we came up with ten reasons to love Junior.

1. Unite

He is a uniter, not a divider. He said so. Twice. And it is true. Dubya has done more to unite Europe than anyone since the fall of Rome. Given time, he might manage the same in the Arab world too.

He has also united the left, energising such projects as progressive newswire Truthout, liberal talk radio station Air America Radio and political action group moveon.org. The American left has not been as vibrant since the Vietnam War. Okay, they failed utterly to win the election, but there is a lovely feeling of togetherness.

2. Fix

Bush wants to fix America's creaking welfare systems. He intends to do this by adding personal investment accounts to social security; otherwise, the government will run out of money – although running up a $500 billion deficit probably did not help matters.

He pushed the $400 billion Medicare prescription drugs benefit for the elderly. A great move if you are a drug company, but less so if you are one of the 45 million Americans without health insurance, and there are about 4 million more of those since November 2003. Still, it is the thought that counts.

3. Moral

George has strong moral values. He is for country and family, and against such evils as a woman's right to choose and poverty – strictly speaking, he is against poor people, but it amounts to the same thing. He also has the moral clarity to stick to a line of action without ever wavering, no matter how wrong it proves to be. Anyone can lead when right, yet to do so when obviously and catastrophically wrong takes true genius.

4. Relief

As Iraq and Afghanistan resemble quagmires, and American troops are already overstretched, the US cannot afford any more wars. Worst-case scenario seems to be a continuing faeces/air-conditioning interface situation in Iraq and some light bombing in Tehran. Admittedly, this is not Woodstock but, at least, the apocalypse should be postponed for the moment.

5. Fun

With his record of underestimating pretzels, Bush is a satirist's dream. Imagine how tedious Bremner, Bird and Fortune and The Onion would have been under President Gore or Kerry – although, we would have been saved from John Culshaw and Dead Ringers so that would have made up for it somewhat.

6. Peace

He is the first US President to advocate a two state solution in the Middle East. And he said it is time for a push for peace. Okay, so that is all he has done. I refer you to the conclusion of point two.

7. Strong

Now there is a Republican majority in both Houses of Congress and the Supreme Court, and Bush has promised to use his political mandate to the full, we will be spared the dangers of a weak or deadlocked US government. Frankly, that scares the hell out of me, but the need for strong government is always used to justify the unrepresentative nature of the House of Commons, so that argument must impress someone.

8. Friend

He has helped Africa. I wanted to believe this one, I really did. After all, Bob Geldof said Bush is the best friend that the continent has had since JFK. He has extended the preferential Agoa trade pact, pledged $15 billion to combat AIDS and launched the Millennium Challenge Account fund that offers aid in return for good governance.

But it took me about five minutes to also find out that he resurrected the Mexico City Policy, which has cut off the supply of condoms, not to mention safe abortion clinics. And he has done nothing for fair trade. Africa has crappy friends.

9. Opportunity

As Tom Freke argued last month, if Iraq continues to disintegrate and the economy implodes, the 2004 election result might kill the whole Neo-con philosophy. What is more, with the Republicans in control of every branch of government, they will not be able to push the blame on to the Democrats.

Gerrymandered congressional seats aside, the Republicans might find themselves knocked out of government for a decade. Furthermore, the present marginalised position of the Democrats gives them a great opportunity to finish the modernisation started under Clinton and rethink what they stand for, and how to achieve it.

10. Popular

This time, he actually won. I know that does not sound so great at first, but think it through. He received a popular majority*, the voters rather than the Supreme Court decided the election and there was no question of Republican shenanigans fixing the vote (quiet at the back, Palast).

So, unlike the last four years, the opposition actually has to deal with the reality that Bush is President, instead of muttering darkly about President Gore and hanging chads – and I write as someone that has muttered a lot. This may not do much for the state of civilisation, but it should, at least, raise the level of debate.